Not a wifey woman
Friday afternoon. I've just come out of two interviews with two really good companies. I guess I should have been completely drained for energy after all the preparations and consentration, but I'm peppered with excitement as the afternoon progress. I'm so super excited about next week and eager to find my next role, besides, Britt is here from Norway and would like a Chinese foot massage. We trot along to the Chinese district, where we're both sent into foot bliss for 30 minutes. Britt is an expert in this, I'm a newbie.
"My God, that was FANTASTIC!!" Britt exclaims. She glows, and so does our feet. Now it's my turn to pick some fun. "How about a fortune teller?" I suggest.
We end up in a little alley full of peculiar little bookstores. In one of the more alternative kinds, there is an Indian fortune teller in the window. "Let's go," I say, pushing Britt in the door. "Can we book some time with the man in the window," I ask the clerk, pointing towards a little room hidden behind some see through curtains. "He's free in 20 minutes" she says, and so we raid the bookshelves in the meantime. "How to find your inner peace", "Get rich the alternative way", "On women men and chocolate" - there is a well of titles, most of them with an eastern tilt. I pick up the last copy of Tony Buzan's The Ultimate Book of Mind Maps just as the clerk taps my shoulder to tell me it's my turn.
"Hello and welcome" says the fortune teller. He wants to know my name, and my birth of date. Then he wants my hands. He's pinching my palms, looking, pinching, looking. Ahhh... another massage? I'm just about to enjoy the treat when he looks at me behind his glasses with a serious mine. "You are not a wifey woman" he states. My jaw drops, what on earth does this mean? Not a wifey woman? My self image is shattered!! He reads the confusion in my face and quickly explains: "You are very strong willed. Not a wife, but you will not be happy if you won't be something in the world."
"But I still want to find the one love," I tell the reader. I want my cake and eat it too. He isn't impressed and shakes his head. "You will have many loves. Just like flowers on the way - pick them, enjoy them, but don't commit, they will dry up and then you won't be free to enjoy the next love when he comes around, keep your options open" he advises. "Many women pick husbands with houses and cars, " he continues, adding that this is not my style. Then he suddenly quiets, and examine my hand intensely. "Do not have children," he warns. "It will not be good for you."
I'm starting to realize that my fortune teller has a very conservative view on both marriage and children, so I decide not to tell him about poor Mr. Teen. Instead, I smile politely, trying to change the topic. "But how about my job?" I ask.
Now he finds a stack of tarot, and we distribute the cards on the table. We're both quiet as he asks for a blessing of the cards. I pick a number of cards, and they're left on the table, upside down. As we turn them, he asks me leading questions about what's going on in my life. Who am I seeing? Anybody? Where are they? Are they important to me? How do I feel about them? Did anything happen in June? Any changes in my life?
"I'm spending all my free time finding the job that's right for me" I volunteer away. He wants to know about my qualifications as we turn the card representing my current state. Holocaust. "Lots of chaos, change" he explains as we turn the next card. Roses. "Time is ripe!" he declares. "For your job, and for love," he adds. Another card is turned. Bubbles. At this point, I am thinking these tarot cards are nothing like I've ever seen. Bubbles?? The design brings me back to Goa this past December, a treasure for retired hippies and lovers of magic mushrooms and the psychedelic. I wonder where my reader is from.
"Love is like bubbles" he says, "they burst, then find another one. Be free! You should travel. There are four countries in your hand." "But then I'm done!" I say, "I've already lived in four countries!" Well, that's if the 6 months in the Netherlands counts. I'm suddenly not sure. In this particular case, I'd like to keep my options open...
"Anyway, there will be travel, lots of travel" says the fortune teller. "You will be more than 90 years so you've got at least 50 years left on this earth!"
But I still want to hear about my job. I try changing the topic away from love and travel and turn the next card. The Earth. Security, accomplishment. "TIme is ripe!" he says again.
Now the reading is over. He looks at me. I wiggle my nose, I'm not sure what I was expecting from all of this. I wanted to hear about my career. "Do you have another question?" he offers.
I pull another card. "What will I be really, really, reeaaaalllly good at," I ask.
The Wise Woman. "You have many things to give," he says. "Also, your palm shows that you are good at very, very many things".
"But can I not be even better in at least ONE thing," I beg. He let's me pull another card.
The Key. "You are searching," he says. "You want to find. You are looking, examining, exploring. You are searching for the answers to questions. Solutions. You are the wise woman, and you will find them."
"Ahh," I sigh. "I understand now."
"And one more thing," he offers, just as I am about to unveil the curtains and step out. "Stop preparing. You are preparing too much. You must just go, go and be you, and then you will shine. Don't prepare. Not even for your job. Just go in the interviews and be there."
I thank him, pick up my bags and pull the curtain away. As I leave, he smiles: "Pick the flowers on your way."
Britt is next in line. "How was it!" she asks quickly before her turn. Well, I'm not sure how I feel about no longer having the potential to be a wifey woman, but hey. At least I am an exploring, wise one.
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